reminiscing on Ra Hassan and eye’s life, thinking about where we were just one year ago.
I look at all the photos of us and thank god everyday that i had him there with me.
He made me smile through each day .
When we were homeless he was there smiling and making me happy like nothing was wrong.
Living in the Projects off Foothill Blvd. East Oakland. Every night it was always a mission to find parking LIL Ra- Ra would just sit perched on my hip..walking up 3 flights of stairs, smiling up at mama.
He is my lil soulja. He looked out for us. Our ancestors looked out for us. Any given moment we could have been victimized by them streets. But something in our spirits kept us out of harms way.
Every abusive encounter i faced with his father, Ra would crawl into my arms and want to play as the tears streamed down my face.
He’s my reason to wake up every morning reflect on my life and make a difference with it. What can I do to better our situation our life.
My emptiness was always comforted by Ra . He stroked my numbness.
He allowed me to feel his love and block a lot of the negative horrible things that were going on around me.
Now in a better state of mind, where i can process and talk about it (abuse) theres always memories of the horror of what a person can do to your life. Putting the power of your life into someones hands is where it all goes wrong.
the life they can take away from you
the music in my life had stopped
my energy had stopped
My life would have stopped if i hadn’t made a plan to remove myself.
Greatful to express myself through words again, i cant see myself really ever loving someone as much as i love Ra.
i love him so emensily
i love him with all my soul.
peace to all the queens that are struggling out there you will be reawakened you will be re-centered. Healing takes time.
So many process of healing
i thank Ra everyday for choosing me to be his mommy. my womb, his safe haven. i love Ra.